Couples Therapy & Marriage Counseling in Temecula
Are you considering couples therapy? If you are reading this, it is because I suspect you have not entirely given up on your relationship. However deeply you may be feeling hopeless, there is hope. There is hope for marriages even when the feelings seem to be gone.
Many people think that once they are not in love anymore, that the marriage is over, without realizing that the state of in love often fluctuates over the course of a relationship, and is not an all or nothing condition.I can help you to rekindle the light and feeling you once had for each other, as well as come to understand variations in your emotions.
- Have you felt angry lately?
- Have trouble getting what you need from your partner?
- Do you fight over almost anything?
- And the same things over and over?
- Do you feel criticized and unappreciated by your spouse?
- Or do you feel as though your partner just isn’t listening?
- Does it sometimes feel as though one of you or both of you are done?
- Do you stop talking for days?
- Is it hard to admit you are in the wrong, even when you know deep down you are in part?
- Has one or both of you had an affair?
- Are you trying to work it out together or wondering if you can?
- Do you struggle with how to handle each other’s families?
- Does it seem as though one of you is still controlled by their parents?
- Do your sexual needs seem to different, or non existant, to work out?
- Are your work schedules and other commitments taking priority over your marriage?
The addition of children
Children can profoundly change marriages. Many couples feel their marriage changes once they add children to the mix. Partners often have disparate parenting styles and philosophies and disagree about what is best for their children. And children know and take advantage of this. Through couples therapy I can help you to work together to more effectively parent your children.
Relearning the routine
Marriage is something we primarily learned how to do from our parents, and unfortunately, most often they were flying by the seat of their pants. So we vow to do things differently and, in spite of ourselves, imitate patterns that our parents modeled for us.
We do not realize that a few simple skills and habits separate happy and lasting marriages from troubled marriages/ relationships and are within our grasp. With direction and knowledge, we can learn new ways to talk to one another, listen to one another, and develop understanding and tolerance for each other’s differences.”Psychologist Dan Wile said it best in his book After the Honeymoon: ‘When choosing a long-term partner … you will inevitably be choosing a particular set of unsolvable problems that you’ll be grappling with for the next ten, twenty or fifty years.’ “
My experience I have been successfully helping couples through couples therapy for more than twenty years. One thing I know, there is hope for couples who feel hopeless. And, I do know the difference between treating two individual people and treating a marriage or a relationship in couples therapy. Call me if you would like to set up an appointment and find out more.
Member, California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists